The fact that taxpayers (through property taxes) pay for public school educations is EXACTLY why I feel that three more things need to occur, in EVERY public school… ah, shit, make that four.
1) Each teacher, every year, before school starts, should have to pass the same subject-area test that teachers who get alternative certification have to pass in order to be able to teach. If they don’t pass that test, then they get paid as a daily substitute teacher (as opposed to salaried and full-time) until they DO pass it. The teacher pays to take the test out of their own pocket, but, if they pass it, the amount of the test is reimbursed (by the state government) to the teacher through their paycheck. This alone will guarantee that we no longer have complete (partial, sure, but not complete) morons trying to educate kids on a subject about which they know nothing.
2) Special Education; both Real and Fake, needs to be revamped like a mo-fo.
Students need to be PROFESSIONALLY tested for any signs of mental retardation or deficiency before they begin school, and then again two or thee more times later down the road. If the students test acceptably, but low, their first time, they should be put on a “watch list” of some sort, and given extra attention in their early classrooms, assuming that either their scholastic or their social behavior merits it. Let’s say testing occurs before K, 3rd, and 6th grades. So, by the time a student has even gotten to the jr. high level of achievement, they will have been tested three separate times for signs of any mental deficiences that could possibly be an impediment to their learning or to their ability to learn.
In response to this, the following… All elementary school teachers have to also undergo at least the basic special education courses. All elementary school teachers should be at the very minimum, qualified to substitute a special education classroom. Because of this extra certification, however, they should also be paid more than their middle school and high school counterparts. In addition, if the elementary teachers do get completely certified to teach special education in addition to elementary education (why do I get the feeling that the two are very, very similiar?) then they will be paid even more. Similiar to the BA, MA, MD pay scale in many professions.
For the students that test below the cutoff point, they are to be placed in their school’s special education program for one year, at which time, they are welcome to test again to try to rejoin the regular curriculum. People can argue for self-esteem all they want, but the bottom line is, for kids who don’t care about school enough to try, even if they CAN do the work, why should they if they’re going to “not get left behind” and get to stay with all of their friends their own age anyway? The IEP folders are FULL of kids like this; and yes, many of them have difficulties, but for just as many of them, their difficulty is a lack of early parental involvement, coupled with a “gimme-gimme” work ethic. Critics argue that separating the kids from their peers will only serve to further alienate them from school. I argue “Good.” If their parents aren’t ABLE to get involved, that’s one thing, but I know that, if I’d have gotten a note or a call from my school with a counselor telling my parents that I had tested into special ed. classes, I’d have caught a foot in my *ss, ”cause MY parents knew better. (But, sadly, this quickly turns into a discussion of generational poverty..)
Many of the kids who are in the IEP program at the schools for which I have worked were embarassed to have anybody else know, and we do maintain a great, great deal of secrecy about their identities and their status… But there are also some who brag about it; wear it like a badge.. “I don’t have to try ’cause they can’t fail me.” Guess what, we can. In fact, I have. All we have to do is justify said failure, and I guarantee you that I have documented their behavior much more accurately than they have mine. (August 23rd, Tardy. August 24th, Tardy. August 25, Tardy. Student punished. August 27th, Tardy.)
So, to review:
- Kids get professionally tested often; before K, 3, and 6.
- Those that pass move on, those that barely pass move on, but start receiving special attention. (by the newly certified elementary teachers, no less) Those that do not pass join a seperate special education classroom for a minimum of one year, at which time they can attempt to test again to rejoin regular education classes.
- For the kids that continue to fail, perhaps they truly do need the help of the special education teachers, in which case, to simply “get by” they will need more individualized attention and should not be in the regular cirricumum anyway. (Which, in addition, I have noted is what usually gets the borderline kids in trouble; their proximity to their peers. Kids that age care a lot more about looking “cool” than they do looking smart. If we take away the peer mirrors into whom they see the “cool” them, then perhaps they’ll give “smart” another try.)
- If a child fails a grade, (4 out of the 7 classes, or tests, that they have to pass) they repeat that grade. If they fail a class or two, then they have to take summer classes, or they will have to still repeat the grade; even the classes they passed. This will motivate students to stop d*cking around in one or two classes, but pass the rest. If you fail all of them, you repeat. If you fail a couple, you either take summer school, or repeat. It’s a lose/lose for the losers. You either get to see all of your friends that were smart enough to at least listen and try a little bit move on while you become “creepy person that’s a year older than us,” or you try a little bit in school. (A downright shock in this sue-happy, apologetic culture that our p*ssies-in-chief have created for us, I know…)
- Because of all of this, an extra change… Call it 2B, or something… Special Education, etc… students keep the current grading scale 60-69: D, 70-79: C, 80-89: B, and 90-100+ is an A. Regular Education students go back to the “old-school” grading scale. 100-93: A, 92-84: B, etc… (I don’t actually remember the numbers… but they were nice.) This will make the regular kids try (have to try) that much harder, and it will better prepare them for college so that we don’t have 50% or higher freshman to sophomore dropout rates like many major universities do now. That way, we have more college-educated people in the workplace, and we can start seeing specialists get paid their worth again. Good? Good.
3) Parental incentive… Or: If you don’t want to be a parent and try to help your kid with their work, or at least make sure that they’re doing it, then we’re going to hold you responsible for those ignorant actions. Yay!
If your child fails, then for the next tax (fiscal) year, your property taxes are increased. (Not to exceed 10%, but it needs to be enough to scare people…) This is to decrease (ever-so-slightly given the ratio of passing to failing students, but it’s still always nice) the burden of the other taxpayers in the district on THEIR taxes the next (fiscal) year. In addition to the extra taxes, the parents of failing students should also be required, through threat of additional legal penalities; fines or jail time, to attend a minimum (4 would be a great start, but 2 is more realistic) number of parent/teacher conferences with the teacher(s) whose class ‘lil junior is failing. When parents care, kids (oddly enough) come to school, and learn more. Weird, right? And here I thought all along that (60’s – drugs, 70’s – music, 80’s – television, 90’s – the internet, and 00’s – someone else) was/were supposed to raise my child. Idiots.
4) More plain-clothes security. I think that 1 for every 150 or so students would be a decent ratio. These guys have one job: Wander about the school grounds, hallways, bathrooms, gyms, cafeteria’s, etc… and be seen. It’s amazing how slowly a kid will pull their pants up when a 60 year-old female teachers asks them to, but how quickly they can do the exact same thing when an armed security guard asks them to. It’s also amazing how much people like that can do for a school’s morale and overall feeling of safety and order. I’ve worked in a school with one and a school without one, and the difference is night and day.
5) This one’s just for me. Sterilize anybody who does not complete their high school graduation requirements, or receive their high school diploma by their 19th birthday, unless a previously established special education argument has been made. I’m dead serious. Dysgenics scares me, and William Shockley was not a Nazi, he was a genius. Okay, so maybe he was a Nazi genius, and I hate THAT part, but the guy really, really knew his sh*t too… him and Mike Judge’s movie, Idiocracy. If the movie didn’t suck so badly, the message would have been even scarier, ’cause it’s REAL. I see it daily, and I don’t want to grow old in that world. It terrifies me that I may have children and grandchildren in that world and that I would be too old to protect them… mainly ’cause Dick Cheney is the only person allowed to use a weapon anymore, apparently.
CDM
